An Inconvenient Obsession Read online

  His eyelids lowered seductively. “You’re too generous to allow sentimentality to override an infant’s need, aren’t you, Cate?”

  Too stunned to answer, she searched Ethan’s face for any hint of the boy she’d loved so long ago. There was none. Beneath the smooth, cultivated charm of wealth and power, no hint of his past self remained. Gone was the boy who looked as if he’d swallowed sunlight, as transparent and uncomplicated as the clear water along their beach. A stranger stood in his stead now, a hard, implacable stranger with no softness to him at all. “Why are you here?” she finally managed.

  A sardonic curve lifted one side of his mouth while his eyes dipped to caress her trembling lips. “Don’t you know?”

  This Ethan Hardesty was polished, elegant and powerful in a way that intimidated any who dared to intercept his path. Muscles swelled against the seams of his tailored tuxedo, his laborer’s shoulders and thighs brutally contained within the trappings of New York society’s evening attire.

  Platinum cuff links, the glint of an expensive watch and the hint of bristle beneath closely shaved skin gave him an untamed, dangerous edge that threatened to unravel her composure altogether.

  “No,” she whispered. She’d thought she’d never see him again. Ever. She’d sent him away, hurt him terribly and he’d left without a backward glance. “Why now?”

  “To be honest, I hadn’t planned to attend tonight,” he said, his low voice an intimate hum against her cheek. “But then I heard you were auctioning off the island, and I couldn’t resist.”

  Unable to bear his nearness any longer, she pulled from his grasp. “But surely you could buy any property you want.”

  He granted her no quarter, his gaze ensnaring hers yet again. “Yes.” He smiled faintly, and it was a cold smile that didn’t reach his arctic eyes. “But I thought you, of all people, would appreciate the memories I have of the place.”

  She swallowed, feeling the blood drain from her face. Her lips trembled as she remembered the last day they’d spent together on the island. Their island. The day that her world had ceased to hold any joy at all. “I don’t.”

  “I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but you’re even more stunning than I remembered,” he said, ignoring her reference to the past as if she hadn’t even spoken. “But still no ring, I see.”

  Her throat tightened. She’d paid the price for her cruelty, and sabotaged her future because of it. “No.”

  His stare, its vivid blue clouded with a skiff of storm, flared with an emotion she couldn’t read. “I can’t imagine you alone.”

  She ducked her head to disguise the upheaval the interchange wrought, inhaling sharply before she met his eyes again. “What about you? I take it you’re enjoying the life of an unattached playboy?”

  Cold cynicism tugged at his mouth. “You could say it has its … perks.”

  His offhand comment should not have made the pulse thrum high against her throat, but it did.

  “Dance with me,” he said softly, extending his other hand.

  She became aware of the music, of the shifting sounds of the crowd as couples abandoned their seats and moved toward the dance floor. “Thank you,” she lied as she avoided his hand, “but I can’t.”

  A black brow rose over flat, blue eyes. “I never took you for a coward, Cate.”

  “I’m not.”

  “It’s just a dance.” He moved closer to grip her arm just below her elbow, pressing her backward onto the edge of the polished wood floor. “For old time’s sake.”

  She tugged against his hold as she searched for escape along the stretch of display tables at the edge of the ballroom. Finding no viable excuse to refuse him, she mustered the courage to meet his gaze and blurted, “But you hate dancing.”

  He stiffened, the rigid lines of his body harsh against the twinkling white lights behind him. “Do I?”

  Cate swallowed, too many memories rushing to fill the excruciating silence. Memories that still held her thoughts hostage whenever she lowered her guard. Memories that no longer reflected reality. For the Ethan who’d stayed with her like a ghost, haunting her dreams with futile adolescent hopes for happiness and love, didn’t exist anymore. She’d seen to that.

  His expression cleared beneath a confident flash of white teeth. “A lot has changed in the last ten years, Cate. You’ll find I’m not the same boy you once knew.”

  She stared at him, awash with a blend of both dread and fascination. Despite the risks, she wanted to hear about all the changes wrought by the years between then and now, to understand the trials and successes that had shaped him into the man he’d become. She wanted to explore the complexities of this stranger she’d sent to his fate so long ago, to test the waters of his forgiveness and to assuage the layers of her guilt. “All right,” she conceded. “But just one dance. Then I have to oversee the auction payments.”

  The curve of his mouth hinted at the triumphant smile of his youth while he reclaimed her elbow. “Done,” he promised.

  With one warm palm against the small of her back, he guided her toward the center of the dance floor. She felt his heat, searing her, making her feel hot and cold all at the same time while the other patrons parted before him like supplicants before royalty.

  A detached part of her brain catalogued the difference between his reception now and what it might have been had he accompanied her to the annual auction ten years ago. But then he rotated her to face him and stepped close, his thigh bumping high between hers and the wide command of his fingers against her spine claiming her full attention.

  She couldn’t think. Couldn’t speak. The rhythmic pulse of the music throbbed through her veins, sparking along her nerve endings and electrifying her skin.

  “Amazing that we still fit so well, isn’t it?” Ethan’s penetrating gaze remained on hers as his warm hand splayed beneath her shoulder blades. Heat licked along her nerve endings again. She sucked in a labored breath, the air heavy and thick within her lungs.

  His hands against her shouldn’t have fractured her breathing so completely, shouldn’t have rattled her composure to the point that she swayed against him, her fingers brushing the outline of thick chest beneath smooth layers of silk and wool. But she swayed nonetheless, her legs unable to support her weight any longer.

  A band of color darkened his cheekbones as he adjusted her weight against his. “You’re as graceful as ever, Cate.”

  If he only knew. Staring into his blue eyes, she felt herself tumble headlong beneath his spell. Again. His rugged features, taut and intense, focused solely on her. His expression made her feel as though they were the only two people in the world, as though she was the only person in his world. The noise of tipsy auction attendees dulled and the music blurred into a steady, rhythmic thrumming that matched the tempo of her pulse.

  Ethan slid his hard arm lower against her waist and hitched her up onto her toes, eliciting a jolt of pleasure when her groin aligned intimately with his. His other hand lifted hers, gentle despite the implacable hardness in his eyes, and he slowly, expertly guided her into a tight circle.

  It felt right. So, so right, to be held by him. Overwhelmed, she closed her eyes and allowed the moment to wash over her, remembering the time spent together so long ago. Like listening to a song she’d once memorized and then forgot, the music they made together came filtering back, a sweet, haunting echo of the past.

  When the song drew to its bittersweet end, Cate dragged her eyes open and met his unfiltered gaze. She sucked in a breath, her heart rising to slam hard against the base of her throat. For whether he’d wanted her to or not, she recognized the hatred he’d intended to conceal.

  Oh, God.

  She only saw it because once, she had loved him. Because once, she’d known him better than she knew herself, and he’d been unable to hide anything from her.

  Now, despite the passage of time, despite the practiced mask of charm he’d donned, she could read the suppressed anger beneath his veneer of sophisticat
ed command. She could read it in his coiled muscles and the firm grip of his hands against her back and wrist.

  Just as she knew he would, he despised her for what she’d done. The emotion limned the bright blue of his eyes, creating a razor-sharp edge to his focus.

  Oh, Ethan, she thought with a dizzying wave of regret. I did it for you. Only for you.

  An innate sense of self-preservation urged her to flee, to put as much distance between them as possible. But she could hardly sprint off the dance floor, hair flying and her shoes clattering behind her. Forcing calmness, she extricated herself from his arms. “Thank you for the dance.”

  “It was my pleasure.”

  She moved subtly away from his heat. “I imagine the hospital will want to name their neonatal unit after you now.”

  He ignored her attempt to put space between them, reclaiming her arm and expertly leading her to the sidelines while the band launched into another number. “I didn’t purchase it for them,” he said once they reached the periphery of dancing couples.

  She chose her words carefully as she withdrew from his touch. “Well, I sincerely hope you enjoy your new property regardless.”

  “Oh, I intend to,” he said beneath his breath, piercing her with another inscrutable stare.

  As he’d surely planned, the remark rattled her, filling her mind with visions of him exploring another woman’s body on the private beach while waves lapped gently at the shore. Pain lanced her heart, lacerating her cherished memories of the two of them, together. In love.

  His eyes remained unreadable while his voice deepened to a silky hum. “It’s a marvelous location for creating memories, don’t you think?”

  Her stomach dipped as she backed away. “It certainly is.”

  He remained undeterred, following her despite her retreat. “Or reliving old ones.”

  Stumbling back, she offered a bright, brittle, dismissive smile. “The dance was lovely, Ethan, but I really must circulate. I’m shirking my duties as hostess.”

  “I’m sure they all will understand your distraction.”

  “Yes,” she hedged. “But I can’t have someone walking off with the wrong item or forgetting to leave a check in the appropriate amount.”

  “Let your assistant take care of it.” His gaze caught hers, daring her to lie to him again. “That’s why you pay her.”

  Cate flushed, the need to escape clamoring hard against her chest. “She’ll need my help.” She staggered back an additional step, colliding with another couple. After making her embarrassed apologies, she turned to Ethan. “I can’t thank you enough. Really. We all appreciate your generosity and I’ll be sure to send the island paperwork to your lawyers tomorrow.”

  “No.” He tracked her withdrawal. “I want the paperwork tonight.”

  Her steps stalled while her hand fluttered up to her throat. “What?”

  “I’d think the twenty-five million I bid grants me a little special treatment, don’t you?”

  Wild panic pulsed beneath the surface of her skin. “But I don’t have it here. I keep it at home, in the safe.”

  “Then we’ll go there when you’ve finished up.” He checked his watch. “I imagine things will wind down in a few hours, right?”

  She couldn’t take him to her Long Island home. She couldn’t bear it. Desperate, she whirled to search for her assistant. “I’ll send Janine to pick it up. She’ll return before the night is over and save you the trip.”

  “No.” He stepped close, looming over her while she made another distressed visual sweep of the ballroom. His heat burned her exposed flesh, as if she’d stepped too close to a flame. He dipped his head and his breath skimmed her ear. “We’ll go together after we’re done here.”

  A jolt of fear careened through her at the words. “No, Ethan.” She swallowed, ducking away from his nearness. “I can’t. Please don’t ask.”

  His grip upon her upper arms halted her escape. He hauled her close, his intent expression daring her to defy him. “It wasn’t a question, Cate. You want my twenty-five million, we fetch the paperwork together. Tonight. Understood?”

  Trapped, her heart clubbing frantically against its cage of ribs, Cate whispered, “Why are you doing this?”

  His lips crooked in a lazy smile while his grip softened to a near caress, his triumph gleaming hot within his eyes. “Because I can.”

  Twisting free of his touch, of the domineering promise of pain in his victorious expression, Cate lurched backward. “No, you’re not. You’re doing this because you hate me.”

  CHAPTER TWO

  ETHAN watched the woman who’d nearly destroyed him ten years ago, her color high and her steps unsteady as she tried to regain her composure. Seeing that he’d unnerved her, he felt a frisson of satisfaction bloom within his chest. She wasn’t immune to him, no matter what she’d claimed, and he intended to use the fact to his full advantage. By week’s end, he’d have her in his bed, and he’d savor every minute of his triumph over her. “Hate you?” he asked with a bland stare. “How could anyone hate you?”

  “Stop it!” she hissed on a strained whisper. “I know what I did to you.”

  “Cate.” He waited until she met his eyes and then lowered his voice to its most placating tone. “It was ten years ago. I survived.” Offering her a mocking grin, he leaned forward to confide, “Some even say I’ve flourished.”

  Her eyes widened with the implications of his words, her lips dropping open into the tempting O he’d spent far too many memorable hours tracing with his fingers and tongue.

  “I’m willing to let bygones be bygones.” He probed her distrustful gaze, marveling anew at the juxtaposition of outer beauty and inner cruelty. “Aren’t you?”

  “I don’t believe you,” she breathed, her cheeks flaming with a distressed pink. “I was there, remember?”

  He smiled grimly and raised the backs of his fingers to her cheek. “I was a boy, Cate. A deluded, naive boy.”

  Her emerald eyes misted with distress. “But you weren’t. You were—”

  “It doesn’t matter,” he said, cutting her off. “It’s over.”

  “Then why are you here?” she insisted. “You could buy any island, flirt with any—”

  “Cate.” He pressed two fingers against her lush, pink lips while desire percolated low in his gut. “Regardless of what you might think, this has nothing to do with you or our past. I purchased the island as a gift for my father. To repay him in some small way for all he has done for me over the years.”

  Looking chastened, and maybe even a little embarrassed, Cate flushed. “Oh.”

  “Yes. Oh.”

  She withdrew, biting her lower lip while avoiding his eyes. “Well. That’s good, then. I’m glad it will be going to him.”

  “As am I.”

  “How is he? Your father, I mean?”

  “The same as always,” he said. “A bit older, of course, but still crotchety as hell.”

  The barest hint of a smile flirted with the corners of her mouth. “I always liked that about him,” she said. “There was never any pretense with him.”

  “Still isn’t,” Ethan agreed. “Dad doesn’t talk much, but when he does, he tells you the truth as he sees it.”

  The comment seemed to relax her, as her features softened even more. “I still remember how he used to scold me. You’d have thought I was his child instead of Father’s.”

  “He took his caretaking duties very seriously.”

  “Yes. But he was in charge of the horses and the grounds. Not me.”

  “Well, somebody had to corral you to keep you safe. We all knew you ran circles around poor Mrs. Bartholomew.”

  “What do you mean, poor Mrs. Bartholomew? She adored me.”

  “Spoiled you rotten is more like it.”

  She smiled without reservation then, feigned pique and humor blending within the green depths of her gaze. “I was not spoiled.”

  A lifted shoulder refuted the statement. “Indulged, then.”
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br />   She hiked her little chin, just as she had as a child. “I prefer to think of it as loved.”

  Oh, yes, Cate. You know all about that, don’t you? “Either way, you were more than she could handle.”

  “Your father seemed to supplement her capabilities quite well.”

  “Can you blame him?” Ethan asked. “You nearly gave him a heart attack when you catapulted off your horse that first day.”

  She gasped in mock outrage. “I never catapulted.”

  “No?” he asked with an arched brow. “What would you call it then, when you practically broke your neck cartwheeling off the back of that bucking mare?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. An energetic dismount, perhaps?” she asked, looking as mischievous as she had at age nine, when she was nothing but a rambunctious bundle of bony knees, shiny eyes and unkempt braids.

  “A dismount,” he repeated in a flat tone.

  Her grin deepened. “A mutually agreed upon separation?”

  “You always could spin it in your favor, couldn’t you, Cate?” Fighting a reciprocal smile, he tried to reconcile the memories of the girl who’d stolen his heart with the woman who’d so callously thrown it away. How was it that she, in the space of mere minutes, could resurrect the past so easily? How was it that instead of her calculated cruelty and his anger, he was remembering her guileless smiles, her unfettered joy and the ease with which she’d befriended him despite the distance between their social classes?

  “Is your father still working with horses?” she asked, drawing him back to the present.

  “I haven’t been able to convince him to retire, no matter how many times I’ve told him he doesn’t have to work anymore.”

  A soft smile played about her mouth as she cocked her head. “I can’t imagine your father living a life of leisure.”

  “That’s why I bought the island. I figure I can fill the stables again, give him work to keep him busy, and provide him the freedom to come and go as he pleases without having to clear it with an employer first.”

  “I’m glad you won the bid.” Genuine approval shone in her gaze. “I like to think of your father there, working on the grounds and caring for horses again.”